I like to write little notes to myself. Sometimes in the morning before I get my day started and sometimes when I get home from work. Little pick me up and inspirational notes help us all.
Something as simple as “Remember God is always in control” can put things back into perspective during a busy day at the office or school.
I pray that my sharing my blog will help a lot of people. I’ll be sharing my little notes to myself as much as possible. I know that I am not the only person who needs to be reminded that God is in control and that he loves us unconditionally.
Some of us needed to see this today.
I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting, mostly on what God has done for me.
I noticed that never ONCE did I walk alone. Even when I felt alone God was with me. There were times when I missed the mark and felt as if God should disown me or turn his back on me. That never happened! I was never the type to run away from the lord but when I felt like I had disappointed him I would throw myself a pity party and think about how mad he must be at me.
I grow up in a spiritual bible based church so I knew what God’s promises were to us but I didn’t start wanting to see them come to pass in my life until I was about 21. By that time I had enough of bumping my head, having a attitude everyday and just being unhappy. I told the lord that I couldn’t do it on my own and that I wanted the life he had for me. God started to change me long before I asked him to help me, I guess he knew it was coming lol. Once I started to see the change in myself I began to think back to the hard times that I were no longer having and it made me love God a thousand times more. Not just because they were gone but because at that very moment I knew that if he did it before he can do it again!
I wrote this blog just to let people know that reflecting on your past form time to time isn’t always a bad thing! Get a journal and start to write down every problem and obstacle that God has seen you through. It’ll build your faith and make you love him even more!
Reflecting on my past made me love God more for these simple reasons:
1. He has shown my TRUE unconditional love!
2. He has never left my side!
3. He has never let a problem be a problem all of my life!
Everyday I’m asked how I am doing. Most of the time I just say “I’m Fine” Today I stopped and thought what would happen if I answered “Im doing terrible, having a busy, rushed and overwhelmed day” who would actually care or take it seriously?
Often times we are humans just say fine or okay when asked how we are doing and about 80% of the time we lie because who really wants to know how you are doing??? I know that I lie just about everyday when asked how I’m doing. It may sound bad but hey it’s my truth. Potential clients don’t want to hear that I’m over worked and highly underpaid, they want to know about the services that the agency offers and how can they qualify for them. To be honest just about the only time “Im Fine” or “Im good” is the truth is when the phones aren’t ringing off the hook and there aren’t any clients in the office.
Sometimes people come into the office and are surprised at how quiet it can be. Quietness disturbs most people but not me! I love when the office is nice and quiet so that I can collect my thoughts that never stop coming. I always tell people just because it’s quiet doesn’t mean there isn’t any work getting done. I enjoy the quietness because when it is loud and extra busy in the office I tend to feel very overwhelmed. Until very recently I was the only administrator answering phones, scheduling appointments, sending emails/faxes, performing random drug screens, sending invoices, and handling certain client paperwork. I guess you can say I do everything except pay the bills.
I try my best to maintain a good attitude and speak positivity into my life. I know that we should call things as they be not but sometimes when you are tired,stressed and overwhelmed speaking positively isn’t the first thing on your mind.
I find myself writing letter notes to myself at the end of everyday, not reminders of things to do the next day but encouraging notes that remind me that no storm lasts forever and that whatever didn’t get done that day can be done the next. You know, little “Don’t stress out notes”. I prepare for whatever the work day may hold by reading encouraging blogs that I have sent to my email everyday and I also prepare to lie about how I’m doing by thinking about a long overdue vacation that I may not get to take until next year. I sit and think about the beach and how much I would enjoy myself so when the phone rings and someone asks how I’m doing I can say fine or okay without hesitation.
What would happen if I hesitated and then said “Ma’am/Sir I’n not having a good day at all!”? would that client even want to give us their business!? Would they call and tell their friends about their experience with the agency!? Questions like those run through my mind daily so I just say I’m fine or okay because who really cares if I’m not okay? Life still goes on, there is still work to do and people to help. What would happen if I checked myself into a hospital for stress? Would the agency send flowers? Would my family come visit?
I usually wouldn’t write a blog like this but I believe that I’m not the only person who thinks this way. I’m not the only person who wants to know that they matter to other people. This blog is in no way about me being ungrateful, just a platform for me to vent about something that I have been dealing with. I’m just trying to have peace during this journey! Caring for other people all day long will make you wonder if something happened to you, who or if anyone would care for you. Just think about that….
As I sit in the office after a busy morning I look back on my life and I’m grateful for the expiration date on all of my past, present and current problems.
I remember being 19 and my mom car not working so we had to walk to Kroger’s to get groceries. At first it bothered me because all my life my mom had a car and now me, her and my younger brother walked to get groceries. It upset me a lot because there was nothing I could do about it. Here we were totting heavy bags across a busy street every couple weeks and back then it felt like that was going to be my life, I felt like that phase would never end. I would dread going to get groceries even though I liked to eat and it wasn’t even like I was ashamed to be walking with grocery bags it was just something I wasn’t used to. Even though I didn’t like walking to Kroger’s I would feel bad when my mom walked by herself, like really bad. Here I was “grown” and couldn’t even take my mom to the grocery store so she wouldn’t have to walk in the hot Georgia sun.
After a while, when walking to Kroger’s became the “norm” I stopped complaining and began to be thankful that we had a grocery store in walking distance. I began to be thankful that we at least had food on the table despite having to walk to go get it. Time went by and eventually we no longer had to walk to get the groceries. THANK GOD! So today at 23 I look back on that situation as well as others and I’m so grateful that no problem lasts forever! No matter how bad the situation may seem, no matter how tired you may be of it just know that EVERY problem has a expiration date.
So the next time you’re standing in the middle of a storm know that God loves us soooooooo much that he isn’t going to let any problem last forever!
Happy 18th birthday!!! I know your day will be filled with lost of laughter and love. I know that with all that’s been going on your senior year that you may not feel like celebrating but please do. In a month you will be graduating high school and starting your first job. You should be proud of yourself! Going off to college in August will very exciting and nerve racking at times but it’ll be worth it. When you start school speak to your family as much as possible, especially Brice because he’s growing up and needs someone to talk to. DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT beat yourself up about not getting into Hampton you will see in about four years why God didn’t allow that to happen for you.
The summer of 2010 will be difficult for you but those troubles wont last forever. I know how much you don’t like change but the changes that you will go through during this time will be for your good. It’s going to scare you because you won’t want to go out clubbing anymore nor do any of the things that your peers are doing, baby girl you are growing up!Realizing that there is so much more to life than going out and being seen. You will lose friends because of this and feel lost but just know that God is with you! He is for you and he loves you! During this time your life will be flipped upside down. You won’t be enrolled in school that semester, you aren’t going to have close friends and you won’t be with the guy whom you thought was so special.
Four years from now your life will not be how you thought nor planned it to be but you will be blessed! I know you’re probably reading this shaking your head in disbelief but trust me enough not to be afraid of your future which will be brighter than you ever imagined. By the time you turn 23 you will be right where God want you to be! Most importantly, I want you to never let anything or anyone make you feel as if you aren’t good enough. You are blessed! You are smart! You are special, loved and you are good enough! The road to becoming an amazingly blessed and successful young woman wont be easy but I want you to have peace during the journey!
I LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY,
23 year old Brianna