Everyday I’m asked how I am doing. Most of the time I just say “I’m Fine” Today I stopped and thought what would happen if I answered “Im doing terrible, having a busy, rushed and overwhelmed day” who would actually care or take it seriously?
Often times we are humans just say fine or okay when asked how we are doing and about 80% of the time we lie because who really wants to know how you are doing??? I know that I lie just about everyday when asked how I’m doing. It may sound bad but hey it’s my truth. Potential clients don’t want to hear that I’m over worked and highly underpaid, they want to know about the services that the agency offers and how can they qualify for them. To be honest just about the only time “Im Fine” or “Im good” is the truth is when the phones aren’t ringing off the hook and there aren’t any clients in the office.
Sometimes people come into the office and are surprised at how quiet it can be. Quietness disturbs most people but not me! I love when the office is nice and quiet so that I can collect my thoughts that never stop coming. I always tell people just because it’s quiet doesn’t mean there isn’t any work getting done. I enjoy the quietness because when it is loud and extra busy in the office I tend to feel very overwhelmed. Until very recently I was the only administrator answering phones, scheduling appointments, sending emails/faxes, performing random drug screens, sending invoices, and handling certain client paperwork. I guess you can say I do everything except pay the bills.
I try my best to maintain a good attitude and speak positivity into my life. I know that we should call things as they be not but sometimes when you are tired,stressed and overwhelmed speaking positively isn’t the first thing on your mind.
I find myself writing letter notes to myself at the end of everyday, not reminders of things to do the next day but encouraging notes that remind me that no storm lasts forever and that whatever didn’t get done that day can be done the next. You know, little “Don’t stress out notes”. I prepare for whatever the work day may hold by reading encouraging blogs that I have sent to my email everyday and I also prepare to lie about how I’m doing by thinking about a long overdue vacation that I may not get to take until next year. I sit and think about the beach and how much I would enjoy myself so when the phone rings and someone asks how I’m doing I can say fine or okay without hesitation.
What would happen if I hesitated and then said “Ma’am/Sir I’n not having a good day at all!”? would that client even want to give us their business!? Would they call and tell their friends about their experience with the agency!? Questions like those run through my mind daily so I just say I’m fine or okay because who really cares if I’m not okay? Life still goes on, there is still work to do and people to help. What would happen if I checked myself into a hospital for stress? Would the agency send flowers? Would my family come visit?
I usually wouldn’t write a blog like this but I believe that I’m not the only person who thinks this way. I’m not the only person who wants to know that they matter to other people. This blog is in no way about me being ungrateful, just a platform for me to vent about something that I have been dealing with. I’m just trying to have peace during this journey! Caring for other people all day long will make you wonder if something happened to you, who or if anyone would care for you. Just think about that….